Letter to my kindergarten teacher

Dear Mrs. R,

I just wanted to let you know that I turned out alright. You'll be glad to know that I am now married to a wonderful man, and we have two beautiful boys. Yes, I got married at only 18, but we waited until we were 22 to have our first son. We bought our first home at 21, but we have moved around a lot and seen a lot of places. You probably knew that would happen since I moved so much with my Dad.

I want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to help in your class when I was in high school. I fell in love with those 5 year olds, and I learned that I could be responsible. But more important to me were the talks we had, and the friendship and wisdom you offered me.

When I met my mother, and she tried to keep me in Los Angeles, you used your credit card to get me a plane ticket home. You didn't have to do that, but if you hadn't, I don't know what would have happened.

When I called you for help one day, months later, after we had lost touch for awhile, and you said "no," you saved my life. You knew something was wrong and you were right to turn me away. I was upset at the time, but now I am thankful.

You don't know what a powerful influence you have been in my life. I don't know where you are now, but if I ever find you, I will try to thank you in person. For now, I just wish you had the satisfaction of knowing that I am okay! I'm not in jail, or living on the street. I go to church, and I have a family, and I am even enrolling in college. Be proud. You helped give me the foundation that I needed when it was time to get out of trouble and into real life.

Thanks for everything.

Teaching Moments

So, I have decided, within the last few days, that I am definitely making the choice to home school. AND I am going to do it from the beginning. There are so many reasons. Maybe I will go into it in another post. But I will say that I have checked out several books on the subject (thank you local library), and they have been IMMENSELY helpful!

For now I just want to record some of my experiences since I have made this HUGE decision. I have noticed so many opportunities to teach since I have been paying attention!

Today, I have already taught my son about gravity and basic math. I believe him to be a visual learner, so I tend to take advantage of things that he sees. We were watching Phineas and Ferb (a cartoon) earlier, and they were making an anti-gravity machine, so I got to explain gravity! Then, we were playing Mario Kart together, and I was asking him "if I am in 7th place, and there are 8 people playing, how many people are in front of me?" and "if I am in 3rd place, how many people are behind me?" We went on like this for some time, and he really got it!

I have learned that I really CAN do this! I have already been homeschooling without even realizing it! (As are so many other parents of preschoolers.)

I have not yet chosen a method, but I think we will probably try different things in the first few years until we find what works. And what works for him may not be the same thing that works for his younger brother. Sooo, it feels like an adventure! And I am very excited.

Pictures of the day

My baby turned 20 weeks old yesterday. Today he rolled over from his back to his tummy! Here is a picture right after he did it.




And here is a picture of my improved waistline. :)

Lbs, California and misc.

I am down to 151. I feel guilty to say I haven't been the best about the plan. I think the Florida heat is melting it off, and breastfeeding. LOL I haven't technically worked out in a few days, and I have been eating M&Ms. I even went on a donut binge for 2 days last week. But ever since that I felt so guilty that I went back to healthy. I am now trying this thing where you eat a huge breakfast (protein), medium lunch (more protein) and light dinner. We will see if it works, because I have the biggest appetite after dinner....
Don't get me wrong, I am being somewhat active, I just haven't seen Jillian (Michaels), or Carmen (Electra) since last week. I went to the beach and swam a bit. This morning I went for a walk. It's really hot at 10 am...and walking with a 3 yr old is not exactly cardio.

It's really weird that my husband is at work Monday and Tuesday, home Wednesday and Thursday, at work Friday and Saturday, and home Sunday. It sort of shakes everything up around here. But it's nice seeing him that much, and being able to do things together during the week (like go to the beach) when there aren't as many people out.
The only weird thing is that on the days he is at work, I don't really see him until after 8 pm. Then we go to bed at 10ish.

I am really leaning toward homeschool. I did a lot of research yesterday and I think I can do it. However, I am thankful that we have at least another year to decide. Haha.

Also, I think we are California bound. "But you JUST MOVED all the way across the country to Florida!" you say? Well, that's how we roll. This time we are going to make a plan.

This is our moving plan.
1. Before we move we MUST have our credit card debt PAID (about $2600 as of right now).
2. We will sell both of our vehicles when we leave. If we do that, we will not have to pay the gas to drive them, or repairs because they both won't make it across the country as of right now. We can probably buy a little sedan when we get there for $2000 which is the same or more than what we would have to invest to bring one or both cars.
3. Steven WILL transfer with Comcast. So we will start watching for positions when our lease is up (hoping our landlord will let us go month to month), and when there is one open in a town we like, he will apply.
4. I will not even think about having another baby until we get settled where we are going. ONLY THEN will we open it back up for discussion.
5. We are yet undecided exactly HOW to move. It depends on how much money we have to make the move. We could rent the smallest UHaul, bring what we can fit, and Steven can drive it out, while I fly with the kids. (Overall cost, approx. $2500) Actually, we could probably use a company that drives our stuff out for us and all of us fly for about the same price...That would be even better!!!

I estimate it will be at least a year before we can get back to the West Coast. Man, we are crazy.

Thoughts of the day

For some reason, I woke up this morning thinking about a few of the injustices my parents did me...

When I was 12, we lived in Bisbee, Arizona. I had done children's theatre throughout my childhood and loved it. I always had big small roles. LOL What I mean by that is that I never had a starring role in the plays, but I was usually cast in the biggest of the small roles. I was also usually some sort of "character"- something outrageous that the other kids were afraid to do, I guess...

Anyway, after several auditions, I had just been cast as the Caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland. To me, this was the role of a lifetime, and I was SOOO excited!

Then we moved. We up and left town without me even having the chance to tell the theatre group. I just disappeared.

Then there were the various pets....when I was 5 I had a black lab named Sambo, and when we moved from California to Wisconsin, we "let him go." At this time, I had no idea how bad that was. Hopefully someone found him by the river (which was where we let him out) and took him home.

When I was 12 again (lots of bad things when I was 12, thanks to my awful step-mother and my wuss of a father who never stood up to her), I had a pet rat. Actually I had him before my dad and step mom got together, in Nevada City, CA. We moved to Bisbee shortly after, and I got to bring the rat. His name was Cisco. My parents (I'm sure it was my step-mom, but they claimed everything was a mutual decision) had the bright idea of keeping Cisco's cage in the cab of our truck. This was a big moving truck/box truck that we had because we moved so much, but we only used it for moving, so mostly it just sat there. My dad bought it with the intention of using it to haul equipment to gigs (he's a drummer in whatever band he can find). Anyway, we lived in the desert outside of Bisbee, and if anyone reading this has ever been to the southern AZ area, it is HOTTTTT. I was 12, and for some reason I didn't understand that it might be bad idea to put a rodent cage in the cab of a truck with the windows barely cracked in mid-summer. Cisco died.

To make up for it, they got me a kitten, which I loved. He was a grey striped tabby and I named him Charlie. One day, I came home from sleeping over at a friend's house, and he was gone. They were not ashamed to tell me they had taken Charlie to the pound. He was scratching the furniture too much.

Months later, my step-sister and I got puppies! We went to someone's house and each picked one out. She got a little boy dog, named Gus (short for Augustus) and I got a little girl and named her Taz (for Tazmanian Devil, cuz she was rowdy). You should have seen me and my step-sister running around the property with our 2 little dogs. They were german shepard mixes. They used to get under the barbed wire fence into the neighboring cattle pasture, and we would have to crawl through the fence and chase them down. They were beef cattle, and they sure didn't seem intimidated by those little puppies.

Shortly after, the parents decided that 2 puppies was too much work, and since mine was the rowdier of the 2, off mine went.

I really shouldn't be sharing this next experience, but since a blog is supposed to be like a journal, and it's all pouring out right now, here I go. My step-mom was pretty nasty to me. It's hard to explain, but one experience sticks out in my mind.

We were living in Wisconsin (which is where we went right after Bisbee) at my Aunt's boyfriend's (now husband's) house. Since there wasn't enough room in the house, my parents, and little half-brother (about 1 at the time) lived in a spare room of the house, and my step-sister and I lived in our motor home which was parked in the driveway. Since there was no running water in the motor home, we had to come in the house to use the bathroom, etc.

As a teenage girl (about 13) I loved magazines like Seventeen, etc. Well, my aunt had given me some of her old magazines which were the likes of Cosmopolitan. Yes, I realize now that those magazines are a bit inappropriate for a 13 yr old, but no, I didn't understand half of what I read. I mostly like the makeup and fashion tips. Knowing that my step-mother would not approve, I hid them under my bed in the motor home. She found them one day (why she was snooping around, I don't know), and grounded me to the motor home.

Later on, I came in the house to pee, she asked me what I thought I was doing, and when I told her (probably in a snotty tone), she picked up a handheld mirror (probably 8 x 8 or so) on the bathroom counter and smacked me across the face with it. All I remember was the shattering sound of the glass and the screams (mine) that followed. My dad didn't even know this had happened until a few years later when I told him. He sort of apologized that it happened, and that was the end of it.

I don't want to talk anymore, but I feel that this has been a good therapy session. The End.

And while I had the camera out...

Here are some pics from last week that I took, but today finally posted to the computer...

Playing in a rainstorm
Tummy time!!

My body

I want to blog to track my fitness plan. When I got pregnant with Nate, I weighed 168 lbs. I gained about 35 lbs while pregnant, and lost all of the pregnancy weight plus some while nursing him. When I got pregnant with Ben I believe I weighed about 158. I gained about 30 lbs, and have lost all of it. I weighed myself when we first got to Florida, and I weighed about 158. So, if the pattern remains, I ought to go down about 10 more lbs in the next year right? If I can lose an extra 5 or 10, and be down to 140ish, I would be thrilled (I was 130-135 when I met Steven- can't remember exactly). So, we bought a scale at Goodwill and I have been weighing myself everyday, after breakfast, like Lisa told me to (shout out! LOL)

I have been hovering between 155 and 156 the last couple of days, which means I have lost 2-3 lbs in the past 2 months. I am NOT number obsessed, but I am posting this as encouragement for myself. Here's the kicker. Today, I weigh in at 153!! Is that possible? Of course, I ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast, and attempted Jillian Michaels' Fat Burning Yoga Workout on Comcast OnDemand- I did not get all the way through! But it felt good! (I say that now...lol)

Then, I realized that it may not be a good idea to be trying to lose weight while breastfeeding, but a 10-15 lb goal would be safe, wouldn't it? I am not starving myself- in fact my appetite is huge, but I am trying to eat everything healthy and stay away from junk food and sweets. And I am also trying to eat in way which will raise my metabolism (healthy snacking throughout the day, smaller portions at mealtime...) And I am drinking tons of water.

My big idea is to get bicycles and go bike riding often. We will also need one of those little kiddie trailers. This weekend, I am determined to hunt Craigslist and yard sales, etc.

I still have a serious spare tire around my middle, and I know it's mostly just loose from being pregnant, but it's my biggest source of insecurity, and I really want to tighten it up. I have NEVER had a flat stomach though...*jiggle jiggle*, that's my belly.

Problem with losing weight: I can't afford to buy new clothes!!!! But I guess when I get to that point, it would be a problem others would love to have. So I promise not to complain.